'SALEM'S LOT Scares Us!

This may be my favorite episode yet.  Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot is one of my top three favorite novels, and Katya and I have a gay old time dissecting it metaphorically and literally, exploring why the vampires are sexy, scary, and something horribly in between.

To begin, here is me two winters ago, with my fabled copy of 'Salem's Lot ... with movie pictures (thanks Aunt Nancy!!!).

My hair was especially insane; Mr. Barlow, meanwhile, is quite bald.  The horror of hairlessness, I guess.

I posted the pictures themselves a few weeks ago, but heck ... it won't hurt you to see them again . Imagine being seven.  And me.

His hands actually unnerved me more at the time than his freaky rodent teeth.

Katya hates Ben Mears; I had a giant crush on him, because of course I did.

Susan, you fool!  Bonnie Bedelia, meanwhile, is a pretty cool cat; I loved her in Needful Things and in Sordid Lives.  You owe yourself a checkout of that.

Ben and Mark explore the Marsten House ... and their forbidden love for each other.  First I gotta stake my old girlfriend; hold on a sec.

See?  Barney MacFadden ... total hot sauce!  Far hotter than ridiculous Fred Willard in shiny boxer shorts.

Barlow, the vampire!  Almost an afterthought.  And besides, everyone remembers the creepy floating kids.  Like this li'l rascal.

I LOVE THIS PHOTO.  This is the one that made me desperate to read the book.  And even moreso after my grandmother locked it in an attic and then burned it in a barrel ...

WHAT IS THAT GUNK COMING OUT OF HIS CHEST?!?  You can almost smell it.  I'll post a color photo; it looks like vanilla custard.

That last sentence makes me uncomfortable.

The copy we bought at the fabled, and now much lamented, Pamida in Sidney. These were the King paperbacks of my childhood, with that specific font with his name, and then the title in a variety of very bright colors.

The last two lines continue to make me uncomfortable.

The much, much, much, much truncated version that was my early Christmas present in 1987.

See?  Vanilla custard.

Marjorie Glick ... she's terrifying.  Look at all that gunk on her teeth!  But I guess she's good at causing erections when she chomps on innocent red-headed doctors who were just along for the ride.

So that's what happened to Susan.

Here's a few rarer shots from the 1979 film:

The very personification of meth.

Here's some more Barney MacFadden, just to prove how he cute he was:

And s'more Barlow, because, honestly, I like how he looks.  Would you rather Rutger Hauer?

A meme I made in 2007 before I knew what memes were.

And finally ... DON'T LOOK IN IN HIS EYES!!!

Darn it.  You looked.