Cannibal Cop Scares Us!

Welcome back, scaredy cats!  We recorded in January, but our wrath is still relevant!  We're talking about all kinds of fun scat, including my 40th birthday party in HAWAII!!!!  Here, to begin, are some whales we saw:

And the awesome edition of Gaywyck that I found at an awesome used bookstore in Lahaina -- I'd heard of it before, and now I can read it for myself!

This cover (above) is the edition that I purchased (and I will read it!) ...

... but I dig this edition as well!  It's always been my theory that if something I want to read doesn't exist, then I'll just right it m'own damn self.  Which apparently is a philosophy that Mr. Virga embraced as well.  THE FIRST GAY GOTHIC ... how ballah is that?!?

My first published play!  Get it here!

And The Gorgon Sisters!  Get it here!

And Dracula!  Buy it here!

It's back!  Our first hit single!  Sing it with me now:

birds Birds BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS!!! 

The attack of the crows over Amy and Aaron's house!!!  They tend to amass in the trees over yonder at sunset ... a whole giant murder of the bastards. Check out the House Party episode to experience the awesomeness that is Amy and Aaron.

And now ... for tonight's topic ... Gillberto Valle, THE CANNIBAL COP!!!

Keep it classy, New York Post.

This is the kind of thing I found when I was doing photo research on our fiend, er, friend, Mr. Valle:

Bluebeard, courtesy of Graham Ingels and Tales from the Crypt!

The Vertigo zoom in JAWS:

 The amazing advertisement that my husband made for this episode:

Here's this muthafuckah's novel:

THROW.  AWAY.  THE DAMNED KEY.

Stephen King's The Outsider.  Not for the faint of heart.  Go to.

Laramie Dean's DRACULA Scares Us (or, Everybody Buy My Play, Part Deux!)

Yesterday was a very special day for me ...

...my Dracula scripts came!  I've been waiting for this moment forever, since I was a little kid writing and illustrating myriad adaptations of Dracula (maybe I'll post some of my earlier efforts).  I wrote my first full length Drac script while on vacation in Yellowstone Park in 8th grade (wonder if I still have it somewhere?), and I actually used some of the imagery (the coffin sliding onstage at the end) in this version.

So here they are, and here are some photos from our production in 2016, courtesy of Elan West-Badminton.

Monroe Ayers as the Sea Captain.

Dracula (Diego Kjelland) attacks Van Helsing (Hunter White).

Dracula (Diego Kjelland).

Dracula (Diego Kjelland) and Lucy (Iris Jandreau).

Dracula (Diego Kjelland) attacks Mina (Emma Swartz).

Jonathan Harker (Nicolas Crepeau) in the Underworld.

Jonathan Harker (Nicolas Crepeau).

Van Helsing (Hunter White) hypnotizes Mina (Emma Swartz).

Vampire Lucy (Iris Jandreau) taunts Mina (Emma Swartz).

Lucy (Iris Jandreau) attempts to seduce Van Helsing (Hunter White).

Lucy (Iris Jandreau).

Mina (Emma Swartz) and Dracula (Diego Kjelland).

Harker (Nicolas Crepeau) and Mina (Emma Swartz).

Mina (Emma Swartz) and Lucy (Iris Jandreau).

Mina (Emma Swartz) and Lucy (Iris Jandreau).

Van Helsing (Hunter White) explains the rules of vampirism to Mina (Emma Swartz) and Harker (Nicolas Crepeau).

Mina (Emma Swartz).

Dracula (Diego Kjelland) biting Lucy (Iris Jandreau).

Harker (Nicolas Crepeau) and Dracula (Diego Kjelland).

Renfield (Stephen Blotzke) enjoys fine dining.

Renfield (Stephen Blotzke) at the window.

Dracula's vampire Brides:  Chloe Kearns, Ayla Baka, and Brighid Leonard.

Renfield (Stephen Blotkze) awaits the arrival of his master while Van Helsing (Hunter White) and Mina (Emma Swartz) look on.

Buy a copy of your very own from Theatrefolk.

Laramie Dean's Dracula!

A dream of mine came true this week when Theatrefolk released my adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula, which you can now bring home to be your very own (when my copies come I'm going to take them everywhere; you'll see) ... or purchase the rights to perform it yourself!  Click on the link below!!!

Click here to purchase Laramie Dean's Dracula!

(How awesome is that logo?!?)

The Priestess of Blood Scares Us!

Lost!  Found!  The De-Losting!  Welcome to our lost episode!

I collect the various editions of the books I love, as we've mentioned; the Puffin Classics edition of Dracula, terrifying -- looks at those teeth; ALL HIS TEETH ARE FANGS FOR CHRISSAKES -- was my first.

And one of my first editions of The Wizard of Oz . This is actually a Disney adaptation that I had on cassette tape; I think I have the little record of it somewhere.

The British 'Salem's Lot ... with movie pictures!

The vampires of 30 Days of Night.

Before we enjoy vampy Josh Hartnett, let's enjoy hottie Josh Hartnett.

Some shirtless Josh Hartnett ...

... and some Penny Dreadful bisexual Josh Hartnett.

Aw, let's face it.  He's a hottie even as a vampire.

Yerba Buena itself.  Where have all the cultists gone?

Viracocha, the Incan creator god.

Will the real Magdalena Solis stand up?  And please stop killing people?

All hail Coatlicue!

The Monster in My Pocket Gang!

Vampire ...

Witch ...

Springheel Jack ...

And Coatlicue herself!

I owned both of the above comics when I was a kid.  I wonder where they went?

Countess Erzabet Bathory, the so-called Countess of Blood.  I don't know why I'd be so upset to learn that she was set-up by powerful and power-hungry dudes.  I guess I want to believe that she's an inhuman demon capable of murdering 550 girls because otherwise she loses her power ...?

Ingrid Pitt as Bathory in Hammer's Countess Dracula.

And Pitt's Bathory as she's lost face ... and everything else.

BLOOD SACRIFICE!!!

Was the Reverend Lowe of King's Cycle of the Werewolf a serial killer?  What do you think?

Barnabas Collins, killing people with his fangs.

And strangling the hell out of people, many of them women. That makes me feel kinda gross.

Movies floating around the zeitgeist at the time that Magdalena did her damn thang:

NOT Magdalena!  This is Dagmar Overbye!!!  BEWARE, BEWARE!  (Although she's probably not living next door to you; Magdalena very well may be.)