Jerry Lee Lewis Scares Us!

Dick Miller, not Dick Smith.  RIP, Mr. Futterman.

Here is Dick Smith, applying makeup to Jonathan Frid to age-ify him on Dark Shadows and House of Dark Shadows:

Ryan at the piano.

Yeah, so the Israel Keyes video is on youtube.  It's really disturbing so I'm not going to put it here.  You can go find it yourselves, you sick mohfohs.  (I DID NOT SEND IT TO KATYA!  SHE IS MAKING UP MADE UP THINGS!!!)

Here's the Ted Bundy television movie I remember from my childhood.  Mark Harmon ... huh!  Who'da thunk.

Oh my god!  My memory was real!!!!!  HERE'S THE BODY IN THE SNOW!

The real Jerry Lee Lewis, and ...

...Dennis Quaid, arguably hotter than the real deal.  He's got crazy face in that picture, though, so ...

...Dennis Quaid how I remember him as a child in Innerspace, when I thought he was hotty hot hot.  And oh yeah!  He was the lead in ...

... Jaws 3 (otherwise known as Jaws 3-D because the 80s).

Ah, what the hell. Here's the most amazing moment from Jaws 3:

Oh, you should watch it too:

There.  Don't you feel better now?

Dreamgirls!!!!

The Pied Piper of Lost Souls.

Jerry Lee and his 13 year old cousin, Myra Gale Brown.

Noners as Myra Gale Brown in Great Balls of Fire.

Shawn Stephens on her wedding day to the Killer.  (Um.  His nickname.  Not his alleged homicidal activities.)

Follow this link to read the excellent article about Jerry Lee Lewis and Shawn Stephens from Richard Ben Cramer at Rolling Stone.

Episode 7: House of Dark Shadows Scares Us!

 Are you as confused as Katya was by the not-so-exposition-heavy tale of House of Dark Shadows?  Then please ... allow the February 1971 issue of Famous Monsters of Filmland clear things up!  (And if you haven't listened yet, worry not! Click here and you'll be delivered into the waiting arms of Barnabas Collins!

 

Episode Seven: House of Dark Shadows Scares Us!

So if, like Katya, you are unfamiliar with the Brigadoon-esqueness that is Dark Shadows (it'll suck ya in, har har), please allow this post to guide you, visually speaking, through some of the references that we make.  Also, please remember that I am a giant nerd.

Ben Cross from the 1991 revival series.  I thought he was kinda hot when I was 12.

Who are these people?  This is how the movie starts.  One of them in named Daphne; will you be able to figure out which one?

This is Laura Collins, the phoenix, who marries a Collins, has his offspring, then tries to burn them up in a fire that also consumes her.  Since she inevitably fails, she eventually marries her own descendants.  As one does.  Does she look at all like a bird?  Maybe a little around the nostrils.

Dr. Sideburns.

This is exactly what it looks like.  Driving a stake into the chest of a young female vampire.

The "old Barnabas" makeup on the series ...

... and in the film, courtesy of the late Dick Smith.  Check out Maggie's bite wound, by the by.

Dr. Julia Hoffman, baller, M.D.

The infamous bat.  With the stick in the upper right hand corner.  Hey, you try to churn out a live daily soap opera with no budget, beaucoup de special effects, and actors who can't remember their lines.

My husband and I at the 50th anniversary celebration at Lyndhurst in Tarrytown, where they filmed House of Dark Shadows and Night of Dark Shadows.  That expression on his face is a hundred percent genuine.

Coming Soon ...

Happy Halloween from This Place Scares Us!

Happy Halloween, kitty cats!  Here are a few things that scare us, some from past episodes, some from THE FUTURE (!), and some ... eh, they're freaky. 

Yick.  The poor dead girl from the opening of It Follows, the subject of our premiere episode (click here to listen!).  This is only one of many reasons you shouldn't wear high heels to the beach.

Ol' shaggy, the subject of Stephen King's Silver Bullet, who is definitely a werewolf and not some kind of angry hell bear.

Who is this fanged fiend and why isn't the blood of the innocent keeping him forever young?  Find out in Episode 7, forthcoming ...

What horrible thing lurks at the threshold of Theodora's bedroom?  Ask Shirley Jackson, the mistress of the macabre and the author of The Haunting of Hill House as well as "The Lottery", the subject of Episode 2. 

You'll like Mr. Barlow ... and he'll like you.  (We'll cover 'Salem's Lot, I promise.)

And a little hint about our forthcoming episode, debuting November 12th ...

Clinkies!